wobbling

As we all know, it’s one thing having a brilliant idea, but quite another to make it a reality. My brilliant ideas are prone to sabotage from my alter-ego scaredy-cat deborah, who worries about germs and getting sick, who likes to be tucked up at night in a cosy bed rather than sleeping on the ground in a tent and who certainly does not like the thought of what the brochure called “long-drop toilets.”  As the months went by and I did nothing, I felt ashamed of my lack of courage, as if all my bold words had been empty self delusion. I needed something to push me into action. When a good friend died of cancer around Christmas time, I realised how lucky I was simply to still be alive and kicking, to still have the opportunity to take risks, to have an adventure. At the same time, work seemed more and more depressing – the cuts, threats of redundancy and longer hours. What had I got to lose?

In the end, it seemed as if the decision took itself. I filled in the form, sent off the cheque - it was as easy as that.  When two friends came to stay in March to run a 10 kilometre race in the Borders in the dark, I was given my first opportunity to try some fundraising. ( I only did the less intrepid 5 k daytime version, but I did crawl under nets, splash through mud and wade waist-deep through a river tunnel.  Good training I thought for being out of my comfort zone in Zambia!)  I felt awkward asking people for money, but my colleagues at work were incredibly supportive and enthusiastic: for many of them, the work of the Book Bus seemed to really touch a nerve. I raised nearly £500 on that occasion, so thank you very very much everyone; I hope my efforts will be worthy of your trust and generosity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0AyXgOugaw - you can watch the race here!